Its the end of 2011

i am writing this post on the eve of my first daughter's birthday
Maya's turning 3 on 13th Dec..which brings me to mind, i am getting that old..
what has happened in this past months? A lot! I have lost 3 so called friends, i have been making lotsa new friends, i have 2 upcoming sister in laws, cousins in laws and broke lotsa work laws being being just old flamboyant me
On top of that, Maya's sister Sara has turned 1 which i have been bombarded with the question when are gonna have another kid? dude, i am barely surviving. AT 31, i am still borrowing my dad's money as i am at that low circle of life. Although i am a muslim, i dont believe in praying to Allah in granting me rezeki as i initially thought that everything that has and will happen has been written ahead of me. Boy i was wrong. Allah likes listening to his subjects and therefore i should pray more, succumbed more. Not praying like asking for money from the skies. Pray for happiness, well being, wealth and health, if not for myself just pray for others. Now, aint that grand?! All this while i dont know what teaching i have been listening to but thank Allah, i have been shown the correct path to undertake.
On top of that, i kinda sorta have this dream job that i have been eying but yet i hate it very much, I don't hate the job, i just hate this one guy who i have to work along with. The thing is, he is the one who is not working along well, either with me or with others but basically i don't give a rats ass about him. I have been blessed with great company lately and offers have been pouring in. I just need to have that strength to make them offers a reality for the sake of my kids, my dad and me.
As they say, too much of a good thing can make you dumbfounded and i am at that stage where i am dumbfounded. With kindness, with opportunities, With happiness. When you have 2 smiling, healthy adorable kds what more can you complain at? Yes i am more tired than before but at least the kids kept me going and gong and going...
I need all the strengths to plan for my kids party. I tried making macaroon yesterday. They didn't turned out too sweet. In fact they are savory, but the costs of making them..ayayai...! Am thinking of making some gingerbread men cookies for the guests. Some more the event will be on Christmas Eve. Okay i am a muslm through and through ya, don't get me wrong. It is just a coincidental thing, plus gingerbread are tasty, halal and colorful. So sue me!

See you soon!

the hell

Forgive me,
But coming from a multiracial company, i thought that you guys support that whole 1 Malaysia thinga majig but it is actually, a lie...a lie i tell u!
Other than that, you descriminate me, your so called own kind just because I dont wear a hijab. A hijab wearing person actually, get this..descriminate a non hijab wearing person on the reason that, I have more sins (hence no hijab)

Ko bodoh ke hapa??? Ko nak kena sekeh dengan aku?

Dude...I am surprised that actually I am quite patient in handling all your stupid shenenigans. Idiots!

Dude...having an upper degree level does not actually make you a better person.

Dude..upon graduation, woring with daddy dearest's company does not make you super smart and well respected. I have a few friends who upon graduation took over their parents' companies' but these people earned my respect. They work hard. They started from below. They deserve their every bit of success
and dude...working exceeding your working hours everyday of the week does not make you a valuable employee. It goes to show, what the hell have you been doing from morning till afternoon? Hello...time management.. Does that ring any bells? Okay some do need to work extra hours but that is their effort. But if there is nothing else to do yet you stayed back just to show the boss that you stayed back, doesnt that means that you are actually, bodeking???
damn dude..

you are really one piece of...sh....t

this is a cry for help

my friend Lily whom i met after years of MIA..finally re submerge from her hideout
Like me, she too is a mother, a wife and she is going bonkers with the one whom she married with;
" Lisa, I kinda am going through a rough patch. My husband is not a husband. He abuses me mentally and physically. One day i turned up to work with bumps and bruises and when people asked, i just told them that i had a migraine and fell and hit myself. I kinda have no belief in God anymore becos the more I pray to Him, the more i feel neglected. He never loves me, The only reason he married me was I came from a well to do family and he would like to share the wealth. Well, not share actually, more like taking them all. My credit card has went busted, i never even get the chance to pay off some of my study loans becos he kept on demanding for money. His bike got repossess yet he claimed that it got stolen. When I have delivered my second baby I had to fork out my own money to pay off the hospital bills becos he doesn't has the money but during that time, he just had his bonus. The company gave him some money for the baby as a gift yet he used them up to buy some stupid accessories for his bass. He promised me that he's gonna set up an account for my second baby but it has been 8 months, nothing. Whenever i mentioned this he just act nonchalant and smack me in the face. I don't believe in God, He never listens to my prayers. I wanted him to divorce me but he never do it becos he knew if that happen, where would he live? how would he eat? I have went to extreme measure to the point I took up Christianity, chanting Lord Jesus' name as my saviour in order for him to divorce me as I can be deemed as murtad"
Oh my, how can I help you? I was about to tell her the same thing  but compared to the situation that I am facing, this is MAJOR trouble.
I was left speechless. All I can offer her was a hug and a shoulder to cry on. My feminist side suddenly came back to life, telling me this;
" Yes Lisa, men are pigs"
I couldn't agree more

My name is Mel and damn proud of it

Sometimes I am asked this kind of question:
Mel, why is your name so un-malay-ish? Why must you be named Mel?

My simple answer will be: Apasal? Tak boleh ke? hilang nyawa ke dengan nama I?
(Why cant I be named like that? Are you losing your life upon hearing my name?)

My mum gave me that name because she kinda love the character from the drama series Little House of Prairie played by Melissa Gilbert named Laura Ingalls. Then why shouldnt i be named Laura instead? Hello, being given the existing name pun orang dah kepoh bertanya, why should i be named Laura?

So my name is un-Malay-ish. So should i be deemed as very much unmalay? That is what the signals that i have been given on for these past few days. Is Mohamed a malay name? It's arabic for goodness sake but are we questioning on that name Mohamed? No, we arent.

Please dont question my malay-ness or my muslim faith. My name may not sound Malay or is a muslim name but I am the children of Allah. It breaks my heart when you people question me these question. Heck, one of you even asked me why i do not want to wear a hijab. Its DO NOT WANT instead of WHY am I not wearing a hijab. Those are 2 different questions with 2 different meaning. Let me answer this question with Allah. I know where i stand. It's better than wearing a hijab but at the same time you talked bad about me behind my back. If you do that, the sins arised are within you, me and Allah. Double whammy! Enough said!

I am trying to become a better muslim by trying to pray and perform my muslim duties. I even am trying to cut down on my swearing. Dude, there has been no better replacement for the word FAKK as you have heard it now. It has been replaced by Fish, Fish Curry or Fakistan (it should start with a P though). Damnation dude, me is a mother of 2 now. I even taught my daughter to never to use the word stupid or bodoh, and she listens!

Please, let my name be as it is. It was given by my mother.. If you insult it, you insult my mother. If you wanna insult me please do, but dont go around running and crying when a size 9 shoe landed on your face. That's the consequences of being too-holier-than-thou.

I love my new job

I love my new job because it allows me to have my own driver

He drives as according to his schedule and his vehicle is much more bigger than any Mercedes or BMW

It is yellow in color

And he will wait for me everyday loyally at an assigned spot

I merely pay him RM 1.70 per day. Cheap right? Well, that's how my bus fare costs me these days :)

I love my new job because it helps me to keep trim and firm

Everyday i walked 2 kilometers  return trip to the bus station in order for me to catch my bus

I realized that I can also improve my cardio if i am late for work. All that running and panting and the wonderful natural habitat surrounding me really uplift my mood. Plus if it rains, i can boost up my training. Further if there are puddles. Ooo i love them puddles...jumping over them helped me to strengthen up my legs. Beats any day of working out in a gym. Even Technogym's treadmills cant offer you the same satisfaction!

In no time will get my prenatal figure back....HOLLLAAA!!!!

I love my new job because it helps me to scrimp and save

After tasting a nasi ayam which i bought for RM5 and tasted like feet, i learn the value of money, and how to scowl and complain like a true blue Singaporean (sorry guys...now i understand why you lot like to complaint...it is because you truly do understand and practice consumerism, respect!)

I love my new job because i can now work 5 days per week and this allows me to take better care of my family, house and my garden. Mushroom pods may look cute on the Smurfs' cartoons series, but real mushroom pods do look ugly in sight. Yech! Furthermore, i can fold my own laundry. Have you ever seen how my husband fold the laundry? Brings new meaning for the term "Sight for sore eyes!"

I love my new job because there is no more exist the needs to work under an authoritative figure who was given the post by knowing how to juggle balls. Human balls. Enough said!

Vice versa life goes on.Shit happens

Please take a listen

This song is something that is close to my heart
A song which i always hear during the moment when i feel down
The lyrics that touched me most were:

Let me tell you 'bout hardwork

Minimum wage with baby on the way

Kinda had that experience last year when i was heavily pregnant and jobless. I didn't give up. I did something that made me happier and at the same time earned me enough money in order for my family to celebrate Hari Raya and to cover the hospital bills when i delivered my baby

Now, things are getting better. Yes, I am not getting any higher pay than my old job did gave me, but I am happier and stronger. The moment I feel thankless, I will hear this song over and over again. So that I can count my blessings (and kasi taubat sikit)

Insya-Allah Maya and Sara, Ibu will do better for both of you. Be a bit patient and remember Ibu's advise.
We have a mission that Allah has gave us in this world

Amin

So what?

I actually couldn't care less on why you are banning me
I kinda always knew that you are a great pretender
yes you are, yes you are...
The moment i am up to something, you will always do something in order to make yourself look better than me!
The moment i attempt to earn extra moolah for Hari Raya pocket money, you actually went and tell others that my cookies look and taste like shit!
I just have one advise for you:

SO WHATTT???!!! 

Sad, pathetic little bejangles....hehehehe

Birthday? More like doomsday

Damn
I hate my job very much Everytime i scheduled an appointment, the management decided to reschedule their working hours. Always. I missed out clients and at the same time i fought with my old friend from a bank on this. He promised to bring along 20 clients, due to management schedule, we clashed. Darn. I dont think that if he brings 20 people, all will sign up, I was told. The management was adamant in closing earlier. Damn Damn Damn. Apa ko ingat gym ni ko yang punya suka suki nak tukar masa?
Answer is: YES 

I hate that I am the only person without any sale Irregular working hours. Tired. Too much empathy. When the client said they have no money, what was i suppose to do? Lambast them for wasting my time? Oi ko habiskan masa aku jeklah! Is that fair? I dont think so. Kiss my beautiful, plentiful 38 inches wide a$$! 

I hate my birthday
Everytime its my birthday it will mean war between me and my husband. Reason? For 27 years I've been educated and raised to celebrate and do a birthday celebration. Until i turned 27. That is the year i married him. Now I am 31. It has been 4 years since i last celebrated my birthday. Cakes for him is a waste of money Ko kan kerja buat kek ko buatlah kek ko sendiri!. I've been told. Shit, what the piehole is a cake maker doing and making her own cake? damnnn!!! Excuse me people, the ORIGINAL Drama Queen is shutting herself in her coffin today. Its my DOOMSDAY. Thanks for the wishes, but i wanna wallow in self pity today, tomorrow and the day afterwards.
And yes i am complaining and rumbling although i vow against complaining this year but guessed i broke my resolution.

Can hear the members of the GANG TAK SEDAR UNTUNG laughing reading this post. My advise to them is,

sila pi mampus

Sheessshhh...

GODSPEED

Misery

Laughing at someone else's misery, aren't we? Sniggering at someone else's downfall, aren't we? OO...what about this...think you are always right, aren't we? And thinking that all those blessings that He has given to ALL OF YOU is a sign that you are always in the right, aren't we? well, think again...cos your day will come. And if it does, i wont laugh at you and say you deserve it. I will just stay cool and utter, let it be. Shit happens, life goes on...

do i look like i gve a damn?

Yeah...having that moody mel syndrome when everything seems not right for me Too many information being passed to me i swear one day i will die from too much info! Okay here's a quick recap on what triggered Moody Mel to reappear: 1. Please do not laugh at someone else's misery Honestly, do you think that you are a better and bigger person? 2. Believe in Heaven and Hell Do you know where you are gonna be put into? I do. Its Hell 3. Karma is a bitch I am a bitch, i acknowledge that, but nothing speaks louder than a supposedly kind hearted person who condemns and laughs at someone else's misery without knowing her true original bitchiness! 4. Marriage is hard work Damnnn.....i think I dont work hard enough. Not blaming myself. I blame my husband for my insanity...hahaha 5. I hate sales job (apart from sales that requires you to meet your target) Targets, insincerity, lies. Need i say more? LIKE I SAID, DO I GIVE A DAMN?

Trying to work out, The Style Ftness Way

Damn i am that fat!
after giving birth, the weight kinda lets themselves go but the flabby skin maintains.
Luckily i am now working at a new and upcoming gym at DNP Plaza Johor Bahru called Style Fitness. The company's website is viewable at www.style-fitness.com but alas it is under construction. Our cute IT girl is iin the midst of developing it.

But as of today me boss told me that the gym will be having its opening on 31st Jan 2011 and have arranged some class scheduled as per below:

1. Body sculpt
I have been told that this is a muscle toning class that helps to tone your abs and your shoulders.
My verdict: I wanna join this class, have you seen Fergie's abs???!!!!

2. Cardio B.A.T.H
This is not an exercise that requires you to take your bath in front of the trainer ( I dont mind if the trainer does that though, have you seen my trainers? Dammmnnnn hot!!)
It actually targets your butts, abs, thighs and hips (Hence the acronyms) which personally i think are the most troubled areas for any women who just gave birth like yours truly. I think J-Lo must have done this exercise. Heck it is one of my 2011's New Year's resolution which is to get my body in shape in order to fit into a Herve Leger dress. Well, after i completed my resolution no 1 which was TO EARN SO MANY MOOLAAAHHH!!!!

3. Belly Dance
My verdict: Sexy moves = sexy body =  hot confidence =  hot bedroom action. Need i say more? Hehehe

4. Yogasana
This is a form of yoga that helps you to test your balance, patience and endurance. You will be asked to do some poses that may seemed simple but actually, if you give it a try it is not easy as it looks
My verdict: Two kids+1 husband who acts like a 6 year-old kid = i do need some more patience in my life!

There are more classes that are being planned for that opening day which once confirmed but i will informed you later on that. Meanwhle please oogle at this lady who has twins and have a hot sexy body:

Note from editor: Awas lu J-Lo!, aku akan melawanmu!!! hahaha

My cookies looked like shit??

Yes it is a bit disheartening

i know, people are entitled to their own opinions, but to be judged by someone you first and foremost you do not know or even met in your life, kinda sucks
Yes i am a bit sensitive about this.

Currently i am dabbling in the cookie making business to earn some side income for the coming festive season. I see no harm in that. I know there are dozens and even hundreds of cookie supplier/maker/distributor in this country but what harm have i done? I am just a girl who likes baking, and some of my friends and families have tasted the cakes or cookies or treats that i baked and liked them.

Furthermore due to health reason i am currently unemployed, but do i go and sit around for money to fall onto my lap? No way, i have skills. I will use them to good use. Hey, i am ashamed when i watched that TV3 programme Bersamamu, i thought if they can endure hardship, what is stopping me from trying harder? I don't kill people or beat them up. Yet

So yes i posted some pictures of my so called amateur cookie making. To promote them to the mass. It's a form of marketing. I studied marketing for 4 years, time to use that skills. What harm have i done? Then my brother's girlfriend, being the sweetheart that she is decided to help me selling the cookies at her college. She tagged a few of her friends' name in facebook. Until one one them, by the name of Cherry Reen commented:

"It looks like shit"

Dear Ms Cherry Reen
Are you a Wilton graduate? I am not
Are you a Cordon Bleu alumni? I am not
Are you Nigella Lawson or Rachel Ray or Rachel Allen's student? I am not

What did i do next? I just deleted her comment, blocked her and yes i am airing my grouse here in my blog. I have never been so saddened in my life. Angry? Nah i am not that angry. Why should i be? I don't know her. It is just a bit disheartening that my efforts are being criticised by some teenage neanderthal without her actually knowing the real reason in me dabbling in cookie making.

I can take criticisms. I took one yesterday from my friend but no harm done. She was helping me. As i said, positive criticisms are more than welcome by me. I do admire one of my close friend who has a blog, www.diyanazman.com and she has been criticised by some people due to one of her post. Her patience in receiving all those negative comments and facing them heads on. Me? I just received one bad comment in my facebook page, and here i am already feeling like strangling that poor girl

. D, how do you do it?

Oh Madame Julia Child, how do i refrain myself from kicking that poor girl's ass?

But i do like to thank my friends who kept on sms-ing me and calling me telling me to hang in there. How can i repay you guys? From the bottom of my heart i thank thee and i promise to do better!

To that girl Cherry Reen, pray that I don't go to your college and confront you, because honestly I don't know what i will do to you, and thank you!

Cookies and confusions

Sometimes i am confused with everything that surrounds me. Lately i am busy making some cookies for the coming festive season and handling out samples with no additional costs to faraway land. A form of marketing. A form of investing. I do not want to sell something that i don't believe in. For what use?

It came to my attention that people really has a different opinions. What gives? Well if i gave out, for example the same piece of cookie to 2 different individuals, they may have different opinions. So whose opinion do i choose? Why is the other person's opinion much more important than the other half?

Confused? Don't be. I blame the tongue

So it is important here that i realised the initial intention of me slaving out in front of the oven, pouring all my blood, sweat and tears, and dragging my belly late at night from my other job as a tutor and then continue baking until the wee hours, praying that there is no ghost haunting me or knocking the glass window at the kitchen asking me

"Lahh..tak tido lagi ke kak? (my, aren't you sleeping yet my dear?)"

Aside from that having to turn deaf from my husband's constant criticism and his refusal to rub my aching Godzilla's feet from all that standing and running and baking and driving.

I do it because i love it and i do it so that i can have additional moolah for my babies so that they  can have a festive Hari Raya despite me temporarily become a housewife and i do have the strengths and will to do something that i finally like and love.

To all the critics out there who always sends out opinions without thinking of others...i would like to say this;

Thanks for your honest opinions, but ada aku pedulik?

I only take positive criticism. Like the ones my friend Nani sms-ed me just now. Her friend tasted the cookies and as her friend's mother have a bakery, it will be a valuable lesson.  So i sent in 4 samples, and she gave his 2 cents worth. I take them with glee and am determined to better the recipes. You can't expect me to be perfect at everything, correct? So those opinions do helped me. From now on there will be more chocolate chips and more love in cooking them cookies...hahaha

 Thanks so much Nanie and friend, i value them opinions! Love you babe!

Oh Madame Julia Child...how do you do it?

Atuk and granddaughters

My dad already has 2 granddaughters, my own daughter and a new niece called Wawa

He never complained even if my daughter starts to throw her terrible two tantrums, which seems aplenty these days. Even if I myself feel that my patience is running thin with every time she started to throw her movie star tantrum, he will just keep his cool.

There were so many times when both of his granddaughters will cry at the same time, he will just coolly pick them up and placed them in both of his arms and comfort them.

Here's to you dad and to more cucus to come!

i cant believe i am writing about Econsave!!!

Of all things..

I cant believe i let my husband talked me through on shopping at Econsave at Skudai Parade
The minute he said, we need to rethink of our budget as you are not working for these few months. That line really caught me hook, line and sinker!

I cant believe i stepped my feet there! It was argumentative. The minute i arrived there, me and hubby started to quarrel. Him, being the ever so positive person kept on asking me, hey where to park the car? How much is the parking fee? bla bla bla....I seriously wanted to pound him open and retort back;

"Bang, you are asking me questions like i have always been there for a thousand years! I never even stepped foot here let alone peed in the complex's loo, what makes you think i know all the answers to your questions?"

To my surprise,there was a ladies' parking block in the complex! And it was painted in pink! And plasted with murals of lipstick, handbags and ladies' accessories! I was dumbfounded. What's next? pink ladies collecting the parking fee? sheeshhhh!!

Anyway, lets go back to Econsave..

Somebody please tell me to shove a foot into my mouth. I was shocked! With exception of diapers, the price of groceries there were really cheap and not to mention, the fresh seafood! My husband almost fainted when he found out a fresh catch of sea bass only costs RM 15 per kg! Indeed it was fresh! We bought some clams, crabs and fish and i managed to buy the ingredients for my Hari Raya cookies for a fraction of a price!

Never mind the crowd. Yes there was a lot of children running all over the place which is always a common sight. The more space restricted a place is, the more the enjoyed running through. Stop being bitter Lisa, they are just children! But i forgive them due to cheap groceries! hahahaha

Never judge a book by its cover...that applies to me. Shut up Lisa...At times your husband may be right....Emphasizing on the word..MAY..

Happy shopping people!

A note of thanks for the ladiessss....

Being alone here...far away from my family really did bummed me out.

Llucky i have some lady friends accompanying me and supporting me through thick and thins.
But now it will be over soon, and to put an icing on top of the cake more oppurtunities are arising this way, Insya-Allah.
I am no quitter, but when push comes to shove i do have to make a choice for the sake of the ones i loved most.
Here's to Zaza, Ayu, Yann Mei, Azian, Nad, Boyey and all others who has helped me. May god bless all of you!

Sad, little old me...

I never knew that i would said this but
today the clown has fallen and in a sad, sad place..
in 3 more days i am going to leave the perfect job, well not that perfect but it kinda grew on me (the job actually) and i tend to like it
the only reason for leaving is, for my health. And future. Dan suamiku suruh. 

sad and pathetic little me, wallowing alone, making sacrifices that i never thought i will make when i was working with that shipping company, or when i was a single lady.

What will happen to me in the near future? i don't know

Damn, i lost my appetite! Although the siput sedut do look yummy...but i just lost it

Excuse me, i have to continue crying..

DAMN!

Freaking angry!

This is how i am feeling today

that anger inside of me, boiling and waiting to come out

i wanna rip somebody's head off, i wanna throw cars around (except mine), i wanna strangle the pakcik at the cafe who always overcharge

i wanna kill somebody today, especially that guy from that department, and also that guy and that guy who really messed out my application.

And on top of that, yesterday my aunt just passed away and i cant go to her funeral.

This is what we called life!

Toy Story 3

Yesterday i went and watched Toy Story 3, a Disney Pixar Production. It has been so long since i saw Woody and the gang. What i like most is Toy Story never failed to capture my attention with its far out animations and storyline. Plus, its witty too! Unlike Shrek which Shrek 3 was the most boring of all Shrek series, Toy Story has managed to held its own since its first release.

The difference of watching the movie is, watching Toy Story as a mother made me cry. Why? The thought of having a son moving out going to college kinda choked me. Of course i didn't cry in the cinema, as i went there with my pal Azian (for more on her click http://eyansss.blogspot.com/), who by the way thanks for dinner; but it kinda send a message to me not to nag so much about your kids, as they will leave you sooner than you thought; but they didn't say nothing about nagging TO your kids..hahahaha.

I recommend you to watch the movie. Its purely entertainment. The only minus point is be prepared. As kids will be in the cinema, laughing, gurgling and screaming, but hey that's what kids do. Be patient, let them have their fun. We were all kids once.

And another thing, Ken is the ultimatum in HIMBOISM!!

I seriously never thought a Nehru jacket can mean so much to him. Glad that Barbie kick his ass...you go girlfriend!!!! 

Special message to my babies: don't grow up so fast, Ibu wanna cherish every moment with you..

**sappy mother...**

Choc chip cookies

Chocolate chip cookies

Ala chipsmore...hahaha

For more details please visit http://crazycousinscreations.blogspot.com/